Merry Christmas to all

Here is what we mustered up for a Christmas tree. It's adorable. Cindy and I will have all our kids with us for Christmas dinner. I have no idea where everyone will sit in my tiny house but that's part of the fun. We're OK. We wish you a very merry Christmas and I for one will look forward to 2008. Stay safe and enjoy each other.

xoxoxoxox

Out damn pins!!!!

I had the appointment to have five pins taken out of my poor beat up foot yesterday. I couldn't bring myself to go to the appointment alone so I conned my eldest (who I think has matured well past his mother lately) to go with me. If you recall from my previous post, we waited for 2 hrs. before being called into the waiting room. We did again. Meanwhile, Matthew decided he wanted to come and lend support to his poor tortured Momma. By the time Matthew got there we were already in the tiny exam room. Imagine...two hefty men and me in a tiny room. How wonderful to have the love and support of your offspring at a emotionally upsetting time, right? WRONG!!!! These brats kidded back and forth about yanking out the pins, Matthew spent more time hustling the cute little nurse that was given the daunting task of removing the pins. First she removed the cast. The kids were horrified, truly shocked to see their Mom with a man leg. The hair on my leg must have been 1/2" long! Wow. I thought it was pretty cool. Now for those of you who don't know, these are almost 3" pins, thicker than I can bend by hand! They look quite like 'allen keys'. There are FIVE of the to be pulled out of my foot with NO freezing. She put her thumb and forefinger about 1/2" apart and said it will hurt that much. Not believing her. I gave the kids heck for kidding around at such a time. I threatened that I would go home first and put on capris before we went Christmas shopping after this fiasco. They all laughed at me. Out came the pins, Nick says it was like uncorking a bottle, 1, 2, 3, 4 and finally 5. That last one actually hurt. The others were just very, very disgusting. The feeling is absolute revulsion. It doesn't really hurt but it feels disgusting. But, it's over. A huge hurdle, major hurdle. No more swelling, no more pinching. Awesome. The incision is infected and I will have to take antibiotics for 10 days, I can't weight bear quite yet, three more weeks. Then I will be able to fully walk! Heavenly. Soon I will be back behind the wheel and this will be a very distant nightmare. When my foot is completely healed I'm gonna kick those kid's butts! That'll teach 'em.

Because

I have had a lot of time on my hands lately because I can't drive or basically go anywhere. This has given me too much time to spend looking at pictures or thinking about things that we did together. I have cried and cried and cried. Christmas is difficult, I'm trying really hard to be excited about cooking dinner for all of the kids on Christmas day. I have barely started my shopping. When I start feeling sorry for myself I get even angrier with myself because there are so many people in this world with so much less that I have or with handicaps that won't be fixed in a month or so. Still I find myself feeling sorry for myself and thinking about 'what was' too often.

Then I received a Christmas card from my wonderful Aunt Joyce. She included a special little clipping just for me. It has come at the perfect time. It made me cry but it also kicked my butt a little bit and made me understand what I have to do.

You can shed tears that he is gone or
you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that
he'll come back, or you can open your
eyes and see all he's left. Your heart can
be empty because you can't see him or
you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow
and live yesterday, or you can be happy
for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that
he's gone, or you can cherish his memory
and let it live on. You can cry and
close your mind, be emptly and turn
your back, or you can do what he'd
want; smile, open your eyes, love and
go on.

Follow up Doctor Appointment

5 weeks post accident, 2 1/2 weeks post surgery.

Nicholas and I reported to the fracture clinic at the appointed time of 1:20 p.m. We finally were called in after 3:00 !!!
They removed my slab cast as I suspected. I was really afraid to look at my foot! I couldn't get over how tiny my leg was. All of the calf muscle is gone. My foot was UGLY! I did a bunch of quick glances until I could really look at it. The incision is about 4" long down the centre of the top of my foot. It held 10 stitches that were removed. Along the inside of my foot are three pins and two more on the outside of my foot. That was really gross to look at. They did an xray. Dr. Petrisor is happy with the results. I told him that my middle little piggie wasn't moving like the others. He's not too concerned, he gave them a wiggle and they don't hurt. He gave his nod of approval overall and they proceeded to put a full cast back on me. This sucker is a little bit heavier and a little bit less forgiving to swelling. I will have to be extra careful of that. We got home just before 5:00!!!
Things are in place and I finally am going to work tomorrow. This will be the first time (except the 1/2 day between Buenes Aires and the accident) since October 5th!!!!!! The wheel chair has been delivered to work, I have an account with a Taxi company and it's full steam ahead.

Wish me luck! If I were a bettin' woman (ya! that's funny) I am not going to be so happy heading to work by Thursday, Oh well.

One Month Anniversary!!!

Well it's been one month since the accident. I had my surgery 2 weeks ago today.

I have seen enough "who's your baby's daddy" shows, I've bashed in enough walls, doors and cupboards with my wheel chair, I have cried more than ever because I miss David so freekin' much and I have struggled up and down stairs enough to last a million damn life times but do you know what?

American's celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday. I listened to people listing the multitude of things they were thankful for this year. I started to say I was thankful for NOTHING this year until I thought a little harder.

My memories
My Nick
My Matt
My Mom
My Cindy
My Shelley & John
All of my nieces and nephews
All of my Aunts, Uncles and cousins
My friends
My work
My neighbors
My strength
My stubbornness
My undying, rediculous beyond words, positive attitude!

I truly am blessed. With one month behind me and a little bit more to go I will come out of this and hopefully, hopefully be on a path of eternal bliss.
Ya think?
xoxoxoxoxoxox

Left to go stir crazy!!!!

Our wonderful health care system has put my surgery off till Friday the 9th! That will be 17 days since the accident! I am going nuts sitting around with nothing to do! It is really amazing how we take things in our life for granted. Just walking out the door is impossible. Just getting up to get something to eat is exhausting. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Lisfranc injury

Well, I got home from Buenes Aires on Monday, Oct 22nd. I went to work on Tuesday not feeling very well because of the bug I caught in Buenes Aires. I thought I may have strep throat so I made an appointment with my Doc for Tuesday afternoon. On my way back to work I got in a horrible, basically head on, accident. I saw it coming and remember thinking, Oh God this is going to be bad. Right away I knew my foot was messed up.

I was taken to the hospital via ambulance. I found out that all the 'long bones' in my right foot were broken away from the joints closer to my heel. This injury is refered to as a "lisfranc" injury.

I was in the hospital for a week waiting for the swelling to subside, then they decided that the doc I had was not comfortable doing my surgery. He recommended that I go to another hospital where the doc there dealt with this kind of injury. My Mom and I went there yesterday and found out they can't do the surgery till next Wednesday!

After doing some research and listening to the doc, this is not for the light hearted. I will be completely off my feet for two months! We'll see!!

Anyway, this leaves me a lot of time to blog. I'll keep you all updated.

Cuppo de Vino

The newest addition to my Spanish vocab...ah...but it almost did me in yesterday. Only one cuppo de vino and I was ready to speak to anyone!
This experience is definately making me step outside my comfort zone but with Shelley coaxing me on and certainly the cuppo de vino it makes me so much braver!
Another new day stretches before me, pass the cuppo.

Ola from Argentina

I have been working hard learning Spanish. Here are some of the new additions (ignore the spelling, speech is hard enough) to my vocab. Shelley made me order my own coffee and sandwich yesterday! He actually understood me. I go into panic if he asks any question though!

Ola = Hi
Cafe con leche = Coffee with milk
Bestitos = little kisses
Tostados = awesome ham and cheese sandwich
gratias = thank you
mucho gratias = thank you very much
bano = bathroom
casa = house
no hablo espanol = I DON"T SPEAK SPANISH
hermano = sister
tia = aunt

I won't bother blogging daily, just follow our daily happenings on Shelley's blog at
http://theargentinaexperiment.blogspot.com/

Again, family

Last night my cousin Val and sista Cindy went out for dinner. We tried a local Thai restaurant that David and I often said we were going to try but never did. It was fantastic. We hit the liquor store first though to stock up on wine. When we got home we just sat around, drank wine and talked and talked. Cindy went home before midnight but Val and I stayed up much later. It was fun just connecting to family...again. Sorry Shelley, but Val also fell in love with Bailey. I don't understand you guys!
Today all of the kids are coming for dinner. I am looking forward to another full house.

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me now, I'm free
I followed the path life had for me
I fought the battle with all my might
I would never leave here without a fight

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I've found that peace at close of day

If parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full, I've savored much
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your hearts and share with me
Celebrate my life because now I'm free

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the love I have received from everyone. A very, very special thank you to Shelley who took time out of her life to stay with me and be an unbelievable support, to Cindy who made sure the sisterhood stayed alive and to my Mom who loves me so much. This is where I got all my strength.

One obsticle over

David was admitted to the hospital yesterday to have fluid drained from his chest. He has been in constant "discomfort" for the past few weeks. One of the results of his CT is he has this fluid. Yesterday they drained almost 2 litres!!!! Who knew your poor chest was capable of holding this much fluid? How horrible it must have been for him. As soon as the first litre was drained he was, by far, more comfortable. They are slowly draining the rest of it over the next few days.

I'll be spending my days at the hospital but I will be reading and printing out all well wishes for him.

Thank you to all for the love. You may think we're not leaning on you but, trust me, we are.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Permission to slap me upside the head....

If I EVER complain that I am bored or my life is boring please slap me upside the head. I yearn for the day that I have nothing to do or nothing to worry about. Actually I feel like the inside of me is like a child throwing a hissy fit. Life is so friggin unfair! People hurt each other on purpose, good people get hurt bad and others get sick, other people just go missing from your life when you need them so much! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
If you see yourself in this picture know that I love you but just wish there was nothing to worry about!

Daddy's little girl

With Father's Day approaching, here is a story I remember about me and my Dad (who had the misfortune of only having girls).

When I was about 12 or 13 my Dad decided to sell his old station wagon. He decided that if we helped him keep the car clean we would split the profits of selling it. I guess he knew the old jelopy wasn't worth much. I can't remember if my sisters took part in this windfall or not, but I took on the challenge.

After what seemed forever finally we had a phone call that someone was interested in the car and would be by later that evening to look at it. I was thrilled. I also happened to have been left home alone that day with not much to do. So...I went out to inspect our sparkling gold mine. I lifted the hood and was horrified at the filth of the engine. I decided to put in a few hours of elbow grease and soap to get rid of the yucky grease! That baby was sparkling inside as much as outside when I was done. I was so proud of the work I had done, I had earned my share of the profits! Well my Dad wasn't so impressed when he got home from work and tried to start the car. All my efforts had flooded the car bad. When the guy came to look at the car it still wouldn't start! I learned something valuable that day about cars ... :) ...they need yucky grease!!!!

I can't even remember the end of the story but that guy didn't buy it.

Anyhow, to the amazing Dads I know, have a wonderful Father's Day and teach your girly girls about that yucky grease!

xoxoxoxox

Today my love is 48

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!!!!!
I know your day will be filled with sunshine and love.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

This guy is so inspirational....

http://mpablog.typepad.com/david_foster/

If any of you want to know what David is going through ....I stumbled on this guy's blog somehow last week.

Things happen for reasons I am convinced. It was so validating to read what this David was going through. My David is currently taking "Nexavar" just like David Foster had and they shared so many similar challenges. It gave me a lot of comfort. It seems that he has a spirit so similar to John's, I love it.

I sent him an e-mail to tell him a bit about my story and to thank him for giving a piece of himself at a time when he is facing so many personal challenges.

I hope you find it as uplifting as we did.

TEN SHORT YEARS AGO HE BECAME A TEENAGER!

Now my baby is 23. I a very proud of him. He is horribly responsible, incredibly mature, wonderfully handsome and I'm not even bragging. Hugs and kisses to you. I love you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I will be crying this time next year

but today I am the luckiest person ever. I woke up to a kiss and a card from the love of my life and look forward to seeing RiverDance tonight. I got to work and my Aunt brought me flowers from her garden, I got phone call after phone call from my Momma, my sisters, my boys, my other Aunt and an email from my auntie and from my cousin. Just when I thought it was safe to start working my big barreling boys walked through the office with a Tim Horton Cheese Cake, with candles, singing Happy Birthday with my boss and his wife in tow. My eldest told my to count the candles because they had a significance. Well I was in shock because they had so lovingly gone to all of this trouble. As I counted the candles, starry eyed, I counted '12'. Today I am 49. I couldn't see the significance. Nick was quick to tell me that "Oh ya, '12' months till I am 50!!! Damn kids!! Some day....Tomorrow my sister and niece are taking me to my favorite Italian restaurant. With any luck I can extend this birthday into the weekend!!!!! I feel very loved :)
NEXT YEAR I'M NOT PLAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WooHoo!!!!! Found a LIFE!!!!

We're off to Casino Rama tomorrow morning to spend the night! Gonna see "STYX" in concert. Hopefully come home with bag loads of money! Wish me luck!

I really would love to blog but...

I HAVE NO LIFE! Here's today so far...

Got up had coffee and made lunch
Got weighed (Swiss Chalet, Mandarin and Pizza Hut uggggg)
Got dressed and packed gym bag
Worked (sort of)
Played poker at lunch, lost 1, won 1
Working now :)

Wow, aren't you glad you're all caught up?

Hopefully I'll have something nicer to say tomorrow.

Love ya!

Can't get it out of my head

The other day I was watching Oprah and she had on this beautiful girl who was brought up in a cult, was able to finally free herself from the cult. She and her friends played music in the subway of New York because music is her passion. She wrote a letter to Oprah when she was trying to free herself from the cult but never sent the letter. Instead she made it into a song. It is so catchy. Hope you can find it. I got it from Limewire. Her name is Susan Cagle and the song is called "Dear Oprah".

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOMMAS.
Thank you to my Momma for loving me so much.
xoxoxoxoxoxox

10.4

Finally! I broke the 10 lb. mark. It's taken me 6 1/2 wks. I go to the gym about 5 times a week. I am eating pretty healthy and taking my vitamins. I feel a pretty good about it. Tons more energy. I even started running on the tread mill. I have a selection of 9 songs that takes me the 30 minutes. The 2nd, 5th and 9th song I run. They are..
Crazy - Knarles Barkley
Don't cha - Pussy Cat Dolls
I like the way - Body Rockers
You see, this is why I haven't been blogging as much lately...I have no life. I go to work, go to the gym and come home exhausted. Oh well. I'll ease up a bit when I've lost 40 lbs. Eeeek! gotta go the gym....

Beautiful Weekend

We had a wonderful weekend. Weather was so beautiful. Saturday morning I did all my laundry while David was at work. I managed to upload a beautiful relaxation yoga (song?) on my mp3. I sat out in the back yard and listed to it. I went to the gym in the late afternoon, we made a nice dinner and relaxed in the evening. Sunday (stood up for coffee by the boy) we left first thing to go up to 400 FleaMarket up near Barrie. We walked around there for a few hours without buying too much (I wasn't allowed to spend $30.00 on sunglasses for the dogs! They were sooooo cute). We took the scenic route home (I napped) and stopped to buy some fresh strip loins for dinner. BBQ'd the steaks while I made potato salad and corn on the cob. Fresh strawberries finished the dinner. I could never give up red meat!
David is feeling pretty good these days. He is a little achy and the drive up north got him feeling a little siezed up but otherwise has been having some pretty good days.

Tech Train Flunky

You know, my Mom constantly talks about not knowing how to do stuff on the computer. I have to say I think she knows more than me in many respects. The older I get the more technology intimidates me.

About a month ago I bought an MP3 player for the gym. Thought it would be a good idea. Wasn't really sure how to get music into the frickin thing but figured if kids could do it so could I...Couldn't figure it out no how! I called my oldest son. I could hear him rolling his eyes! He told me to just give him a list and he would do it for me. That wasn't really what I wanted but instant gratification won over. Eventually I figured out how to add music to it. Eventually!

Then David thought my MP3 was so cool, he wanted one. He, of course, got a more expensive one than mine. We spent a week of sheer frustration and two visits back to BestBuy before we figured out how to get music into the damn thing. And...it really is easy once you know how!

We spent over $500.00 a few years ago on a theatre system. Got it home, all proud. We have never heard it work...can't figure it out! We've had a few friends look at it...they can't figure it out either. They have no vested interest in it working of course so they don't waste a lot of time on it. We bought a 54" TV just before the theatre system thing...it works but it's HD and I'm scared to death to approach the cable company to ask about utilizing the HD part. I'd like to know more about a PVR or whatever that is that everyone talks about but I don't know where to start.

I was right up to date on eight tracks, record players, cassettes, video recorders and DVD's, I don't know where I fell of the TechTrain!

One month gym anniverary!

I made it! One whole month of going to the gym! My goal was to lose 10 lbs. Only made 8 of that. Not too bad. I had my assessment last week. She told me that I wasn't eating enough! She said I was eating the wrong stuff. She gave me hell for the amount of salt I was eating! I am addicted to Strubb's pickles...no more :( She suggested I eat more protein. She even suggested a glass of wine now and then. Wow. My problem has been my damn blood pressure. She couldn't even finish the assessment because my blood pressure was something like 180/120! It's never been that high. She told me I would have to go to my doctor to get clearance to use weights. That was on the 20th. I my low impact aerobic class on the 24th. During class I became dizzy and felt sick and felt like I was going to pass out. I slowed down until the feeling passed but it was aweful. When I got home I took my blood pressure and it had crashed...105/70 or something like that! Hopefully, with my doctors help, loosing weight and going to the gym I can get off blood pressure meds altogether.
My goal for next month is 10 more pounds...

Tyson James...

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY
Welcome back from University
Love and kisses
Auntie Kimmie

GREAT BIG HUG & KISS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE M
Hope your day is filled with fun and happiness
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

They still call

My cousin blogged about her kids watching TV too much. It got me to thinking about what kind of mother I am. Like her, I started out wanting the very best for my babies. Their father and I decided I would stay home with them in the beginning. I loved every minute of it even though we sure could have used the extra income. I think it was worth it. Unfortunately circumstances happen that are beyond our control. There are so many regrets that I have and that I would change if I could in a heart beat. I feel so responsible for a lot of the struggles my kids have. If only....I'm guessing a lot of parents feel this way. Bottom line is most of us do the very best we can given the circumstances we are dealt. Both boys still call me almost every day (and not just cause they need something!). I am loved despite it all :)

My first time - Followup

Well, the game started at 7:00. I left right after work (5:00) to sign up. Too late, Todd got there just before me and got the last spot. We called Larry and Mandy but they were already on their way.
We got to play a side table though. Eight players. $20.00 each. I came in 4th. Not too bad for my first time! Mandy came in 5th, Larry came in 3rd and Todd won. We all did well.
As suspected, the multi denomonational chips were a lot of work trying to remember how much they were worth and how much I was supposed to be putting in the pot. I guess that will come with practice.
My luck...the place is closing down for renovations till mid May. We will return though!

My first time...

I think I have posted before about playing poker at lunch time. Four of us have been doing so for the past year or more. Tonight we are going to a "real" game. I am very nervous. It's a $20.00 buy in. I have never played with multi-denomonation chips and I have never played with people I don't know. I have so much fun playing at lunch time but this takes it to a new level...wish me luck! I'll keep you 'posted'. LOL

Also, happy, happy birthday to Uncle Leigh today and cousin Brent on Sunday. xoxoxoxox

Do women know about that?

There are times in a man's life when the term 'significant shrinkage' is considered a bad thing, not for my hunny. In our case that is what the recent CT scan showed!!!!! David has been taking a new chemo drug since January. This was the first CT since then. We were beyond petrified (David especially) going to the meeting yesterday for the results. Our doctor came in and said congratulations there was "SIGNIFICANT SHRINKAGE". We are so relieved..this horrible roller coaster of a journey. Today, life is good.

Matthew

Matthew is fine. We couldn't get anything out last night. They will reassess today but it doesn't look good in the near future. He is with his wonderful brother & sister in law. He is stressed about getting all his things out of the apartment though. This is the article in the Spec today.

Hey Smelly,

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Hope the clouds part and the sun shines bright on your day.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I love you tons, wish I was there to give you a big hug & kiss
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Legs Alive

Legs frickin' dead - I thought this would be the 'easiest' class - (moaning... m o a n i n g) I better be smokin' frickin' hot by the summer for all of this agony. I did loose 2.3 lbs. so far!

Yoga On The Ball

Tonight is 'Yoga on the Ball'. How hard can that be? I'll keep you posted...if I can
It was very difficult (balancing) but very relaxing too. Some of the class made me sweat but mostly it was just balance and stretching. At the end of the class (53 minutes) we laid flat out for 7 minutes and listened to a tape of the ocean. This class will benefit my flexibility without killing me.

LowGo

"moderate intensity class that includes non-impact aerobics, muscle endurance and stretching segments"
I thought I would die! I can hardly walk tonight, tomorrow I will roll out of bed for work I am sure. Ouch! Oh! Ew! Tomorrow..."Yoga on the Ball"

I'm joining a gym tonight.....

Wish me luck. My goal is to lose about 50 lbs. in 2 weeks! I know, I know....let me dream.

There's no place like home

We had a wonderful impromptu (?) party at Faye's. Actually Faye was one of the few people who weren't there! No true, but anyway...
I thought we were going to be crashing a small party of Joyce & Larry, Marilee, Ashlee and her boyfriend. As it turned out Larry & Rochelle, Val & Rob and the kids, David & Erma, Adam & Yvonne, Brent & Mary were all there. We drank tons of wine (sorry Faye, don't forget to stock up on the way home) and laughed a bunch.
It's funny really how wonderful it was. With friends you are always aware of pretenses I guess. With family all of that doesn't matter. It's just warm and comfortable. I am often accused of being anti-social. Somewhat of a trait I inherited from my father I guess. But there is a lot to be said for the love and ease of family. It doesn't happen often enough.
David, Cindy and I went to another get together at Linda's today for Joyce's birthday. I saw relatives I hadn't seen for too long. I fell in love with Leslie's youngest "Sadie". She'll be 3 in a few days. Marilee and I fought for cuddle time. What a beautiful angel. I have to say I fell in love with Marilee too. You know, living and growing up in different provinces we haven't had a lot of time together. Somehow, the connection happens regardless. I know I have said it a million times and I will probably say it a million times more but family is very deep. What a wonderful weekend. Happy birthday to a timeless beauty, I hope you enjoyed all of this half as much as I did. (I know this will make Mom and Shelley cry...they missed out on a ton of fun, missed y'all xoxoxoxo)

Auntie Joyce

Friday will be my Aunt's birthday. She will be 75 (I think). That is so unbelievable to me. She is an absolutely beautiful woman. She should be the poster child for Dove (you know those commercials?). Here are some of my favorite memories with Joyce;

-I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 16! My parents wouldn't let me. Finally when I turned 16 I had them done. Aunt Joyce took me out to buy my first real pair of ear rings. They were so beautiful. They were delicate little swirls of gold wire. I actually found one of them at the bottom of an old jewellery box (Niagara Falls - gift to my Mom from my Dad on their honeymoon) the other day. It meant a lot to me that she took the time out of her life to make it so special for me.

-I used to go out to their country home when I was a kid. There was a set of stairs that you pull down from the ceiling that took you up to their attic. I loved exploring up there.

-I used to work with Joyce. I remember one time some co-workers and I were laughing at my cousin about something stupid she did. I remember seeing Auntie Joyce with her finger out, beconing me over to give me heck for being mean to a family member. Always the Mother hen, always right.

-I remember going golfing with Joyce and Faye after work. I was so excited that they would include me in this ritual. We all sucked at golf I think.

And of course, going to their house now with David. We have so much fun up there.

Happy Birthday Auntie Joyce.
Love and Kisses

Please read this

I often get emails about protecting yourself from fraud and people trying to compromise your identity. I guess I am pretty niave. I always thought people were just way too paranoid.

I got an email yesterday from "Royal Bank". It said that different computers were trying to access my accounts with many failed passwords before the logon. There was a website to go to that wanted me to confirm my passwords etc. It looked very legit. It was an RBC.com address.
The thing is, I do not bank with RBC. I have not been on any RBC web sites. I sent this email to our provider's spam assassin with a note explaining that I do not bank with RBC.

They sent me a reply today that if I put my mouse over this link without clicking on it I would see that it takes me to quite a different site than what it looks like.

I found out that you can change the destination of any link.

Please, DO NOT follow any links via email. If you are curious, call the bank or go to their website from your google bar. NEVER through links.

Pretty scarey when it hits home.

It can ALWAYS be worse

It's funny how we always think that 'today's' tragedy is the worst possible thing that can happen to us. Somehow that always seems to be outdone by the next tragedy.

I have decided that we are so much stronger that we give ourselves credit for. If we only remember the saying "this too shall pass" because it always does. Even the most difficult and challenging tragedies have a way of either working themselves out or becoming a managable part of our lives.

I have a friend who jokes that we are given X amount of crap to deal with in a lifetime. Sometimes that is spread over a long and relatively happy existance. Other times (mine) it is in a very concentrated time. Therefore, if her theory is correct, I am in for an exciting and spectacular future!

Seriously, it CAN always be worse.
Breathe in, breathe out.
This too shall pass.

Be nice to everyone, you never know where their 'crap' level is.

xoxoxox

Roll up the Rim to Win

Finally....after two weeks

I WON A FREE COFFEE

I guess you have to be Canadian to get it.

Have a great weekend all.

International Women's Day

When I think of all the women in my life, Mom, Cindy, Shelley, Dana, Donna, Denise, Natasha, Sharon, Faye, Joyce, Donna, Marilee, Jackie, Aeron, Lisette, Nicole, etc. etc. I think it is funny to have "International Women's Day". All of my women are strong and independant forces. There is no question in my mind that females are the strongest yet most compassionate species. It is silly to designate a single day.

However, if having "International Women's Day" gives me the opportunity to tell my women that I love them...so be it.

I am woman, hear me roar!

Coffee Time

With the kids both not living at home I found that I ached just to see their faces. I hear from them frequently on the phone but it just isn't the same.

It has always amazed me how different two kids can be.

In the beginning the older one would learn things himself without being taught really. He was interested in brief cases and suits and ties by the time he was a mere 4 years old. He didn't excel in school, only because he is also kind of lazy and was happy sailing through with mediocre marks. He never really caused me any grief. The only conflicts we had were because he always thought he was more mature that he really was, challenged authority because he thought he was on par with us. He is very serious and calculating. There is a genuine sensitivity there but sometimes he masks that with a cool aloofness.

Then there is the other one. Right from the beginning that kid's hands and actions were lightening fast. He was always into some kind of mischief. I never knew what would happen every day I woke up, but I knew something would. He lit Kleenex on fire to see how it would burn, he pulled the fire alarm at school, he lit fire crackers off IN HIS MOUTH!, and on and on. He would be suspended from school on a fairly regular basis. I would see BOARD OF EDUCATION on call display at work and just cringe! The school tried to tell me that he had ADHD. I had him tested many times. He's not. When we did homework in the evening it would always end in screaming fits and pencils and pens would go flying. He excelled in Karate. He ended up with a blue belt before he quit. He just happens to march to a very odd drummer. He has fun. He has an amazing heart that he wears proudly on his sleeve and he just wants to have fun.

We started to have coffee together every Sunday just to stay connected. At first it was just me and Matthew. Yesterday, Nicholas joined us. Matthew had on a pair of over sized track pants and some kind of rapper t-shirt. Nicholas was dressed in a suit and trench coat. Some things never change. Just the three of us. They regaled me with stories that made me cringe. They banter back and forth with each in awe of the differences between them but loving each other because of that I think. They will never ever know how much all of it that means to me and they will never ever know how much I love them both. Each of them annoy the hell out of me in very different ways but I wouldn't want it any other way...I lied...I would ...but they won't listen to me!

And you kiss your Mother with those lips?????

First I must preface this blog by reminding you that I grew up in a house with 2 sisters - NO brothers.

When I was very little my Dad would come home from work and drop his duffle bag at the front door. I used to love going through it because it always contained such foreign treasures...he used to keep such silly things.

They used to encourage firemen (yes, 'back in the day' they were always men!) to keep physically fit when they weren't fighting fires. They played ping pong and stuff like that. In hind sight, I guess some of the sports were a little more "contact" than that.

Back to the duffle bag. I reached in and found this...thing. I remember thinking it was shaped like a dust mask. It even had a nice soft felt fabric that cushioned my face when I put it on. I searched further in the bag for the strap that held it on your face...I couldn't find anything.

I can't remember if I went to ask my Mom & Dad or if they were watching this whole fiasco, they nearly died laughing when they saw me holding this 'mask' on my FACE!!!!! I could never understand why they laughed so hard. It wasn't until much, much later that I found out I had my father's stinky JOCK on my face!!!

Ice Fest

I am so excited...so lame. We usually do the same old/same old every weekend. Very seldom do we do something special.

I have been hearing about an Ice Festival in Toronto (Yorkville) this weekend. Then I remembered David saying he had never been on the subway in Toronto. It got me thinking...hummm...

We will take the Go Train from Burlington to Union Station - then the subway from Union Station to Yorkville! How brilliant! All of this for about $45.00 round trip for both of us! You could hardly drive for that and forget about parking in TO!

So, if you don't hear from me by Monday please call the subway police or something.

I love adventures! It hardly compares to the Buenes Aires adventure, I know, but this is ours for now.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Cmabrigde Uinervtisy Sduty....

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

This was also amazingly difficult to re-key!!!!!

It says that on '55 people can read this' (which I doubt). Can you?

My first husband very rarely laughed. I mean the kind of laugh that starts deep down in your belly and when it finally finds its way up there is no stopping it. There was one time when we were with friends and he did experience this joy. It is very sad that I remember only one time.

David (my love of 9 years) and I have had some very difficult times. We continue to have serious challenges. Even through these we always find things to laugh at or about. When I think about our relationship this is one constant. We laugh alot. It can be silly things like not being able to say "milk thistle" and having your tongue contort in a million different ways trying and then laughing so hard about it over and over. It can be when we play with our insane dogs (Jack Russells) when they are doing something funny.

It really is enjoying those moments and hanging on to them with dear life through the crap.

I think we are good at that.

Snow Day In Our World

For those of you in the sunny climate (gritting teeth!!!)...we spent the day moving mountains. Probably about 3 feet!!!! On the top picture, the chairs are stacked in the foreground and the table is behind them. The snow is as high as the table. On the bottom pic the high 'lump' is our BBQ! I think the pics are blue because I took them so early this morning.

UPDATE: They are saying that this was the worst snow fall since 1978!!!

What do I believe in?

My Mom got me thinking the other day. I commented on her post about angels.

I have spent my working life in the accounting realm. I think I have been successful in this field because I love things that are balanced. I border on psychotic about things being 'right'. I have been known to remove staples just to make sure all the papers are aligned properly. I go nuts with perforated papers. I like things that are black or white..clearly defined.

Perhaps this is also the reason I don't believe in a God. I don't believe in angels or life after death.

I do believe however, that you are only given as much as you can handle. I do believe that good things happen to good people and bad people get 'theirs' in the end. I believe that we are here and we should do something that leaves our mark after we die.

Then I wonder who is it that gives you only what you can handle? Who makes good things happen to good people and who makes sure the bad people get 'theirs'?

Hummmmmmmmmm ?!?!

Seminars

On Wednesday I attended a breakfast seminar. The name of the seminar was "WSIB Early & Safe Return to Work (ESRTW) Draft Policies Breakfast Briefings". My expectations were not particularily high for a fun and exciting time but I was not prepared for what was to come. I have been attending these kinds of seminars for over 10 years and this one blew me away.

The seminar was held at the Ramada Inn (formerly the Holiday Inn). I was kind of interested in seeing this place because I worked as a banquet waitress when I was 15 in the same hall. To my surprise, and later my horror, the place had not changed in 30 years!

Registration was for 8:30 and the seminar was to begin at 9:00. I arrived a tad early. There were only a handfull of people there. The first thing the woman said was there had been a misunderstanding and the hotel had not yet brought the breakfast treats and they had only set up for 45 instead of 60 attendees. Shortly after that they announced that the washrooms were out of order on our floor and we would have to use the facilities one floor down. It didn't take long for me to realize that I would have to get my coat back because the hall was freezing! People began to arrive.

They started to warm up the overhead projector and realized that it was too small and not everyone would be able to see. The woman who would be the presenter announced that they didn't have the proper microphone that she was used to. She tried to make due with what they had but clearly was unable to hold the microphone up to her mouth for it to be effective!

Shortly they announced that the washroom facilities one floor down were also out of order and we would have to go to the main floor.

9:00 am came and went. They announced that they would begin soon but were waiting for about 10 people who were late. This was very quickly becoming a nightmare. We finally began around 9:15. About 10 minutes in, the hotel put out the bagels, muffins etc. The presenters decided we would take a 10 minute break to get our goodies! Now we were closer to 9:45 when we finally began the seminar.

They called for another break just before 10:30. I left.

I will be requesting a refund for the cost of the seminar but it left me considering how many resources were wasted with 60 people sitting through this horrible farce for the better half of a day!

What the hell happened?

Do you ever sit on the couch and fall asleep for a minute and when you wake up it takes a second to figure out what happened while you snoozed? Well my whole life is like that! My brother-in-law is going to be 50!!!!! next week. What the heck! Did we not just move out of the house? Did we not all just get married? Were we not just all 25 years old? What the hell happened?

I will be 50 next year. I am warning all my so called loved ones that if I hear anything about it I will kill them!!! Oh Lord, 50 is so...mature or something! People who are 50 should know stuff. People who are 50 should act...old. Everyone says stupid things like, "your only as old as you feel" I AM 50! or "age is just a number" IT'S 5 - 0, 50! BIG NUMBER! I will surely cry! But, in the mean time I will tease the hell out of my brother-in-law!

Guilty pleasures

I am very fortunate to work in our family business. My boss/cousin is the President. I have another cousin who is the Plant Manager and a very good friend who works under the Plant Manager. The four of us play Texas Hold'em every lunch hour (well maybe not 'hour') and have for over a year. We have actually played 262 games. How do I know this you ask? We have a spread sheet that would bring tears to the eyes of most accountants!!!!! We calculate wins, losses, seconds, thirds, buy-ins, and the list goes on and on. We have a 'bounty' game every Friday. There's more on the line that day. We track that too.

Each and every one of us looks forward to our games every day. The fact that we are surprisingly close in all standings amazes us. We are all very different in our techniques.

There are times when the game goes on for an hour and a half. There are times when my co-workers get a little pissed at us. Oh well. Life is too darn short to make everybody happy. We are having fun and hurting no one (except when one of us gets 'rivered' we have an elastic that we have that we can snap on the person who rivered us!).

So don't try to call me anytime between 12:00 and um... well better to call me in the morning. LOL

You know what I mean.....

This happens to me more and more often. Usually it is with my husband and he gets so mad at me. Today it was with the lady at the bank. It went something like this;

Her "So, I guess Enid is on vacation, where did she go?"
Me "She went to visit her son in Southern California then they drove up to (BLANK!!!) (pause) you know that big place where you stand on the edge and look down?"
Her "Ya, I know what you mean (BLANK!!) ya, that big empty thing!"
Me "Ya, like the Rocky Mountains in reverse!"
Her (pause) "The GRAND CANYON!!!"
Heavy, heavy laughter
Me "Ya that's it"

My life is like a great big...(pause)... What's that game?

Beautiful Snow

Last week we experienced an ice storm. This is an event that people in the southern climates could never appreciate. Everything is covered in 1/4" of ice. When the sun shines it is the most extraordinarilly beautiful sight I think I will ever see. Its very magical.

Today it is snowing very hard. But the snow flakes are light and fluffy. Another beautiful sight. I used to have a house that had large windows in the kitchen. On days like today I used to love making a coffee and just sitting by the wrap around windows day dreaming.

Then there are days like the other day when it is so freekin' cold the snot freezes in your nose. My Miami brother-in-law was horrified when he heard this! LOL

Believe

BELIEVE,
with all of your heart

Truffles

There is nothing in this world so self indulgent as the taste of a truffle. Gently drop one in your mouth. Make sure you are sitting in a dimmed room with soft music playing in the back ground. First, you will taste the bitterness of the cocoa. Slowly let it melt in your mouth. The rich, soft, smooth, chocolatey, mmmmmmm.

When it has completely melted and the music stops, light a cigarette!! :)

My Sisters

I am blessed beyond belief to have the two best sisters.

I happen to be the oldest of the three of us. I was definately the ground breaker but the middle sister was far more defiant than I can ever hope to be so she was the one that broke the rules that I broke ground by having. "DeeDee" and my Dad were so much alike. They were both very stubborn about anyone telling them what to do. I used to tremble in my boots when that little pipsqueek would stand up to my Dad. I could never figure it out but it didn't take long for her to earn my respect.

I remember when my Mom and Dad used to leave us in the car while they went grocery shopping. Imagine that? Quite common back in the day! Anyway, they must have taken "Smelly" with them cause she would only have been about 2. As soon as they shut the doors and were headed into the grocery store I would say something to set Cindy off. That old station wagon would be rockin'. Cindy would beat the crap out of me. She would have handfuls of my hair as a souvenir. It must have been a sight to see, there weren't tinted windows back then.

It wasn't until we grew up that I really appreciated who DeeDee is. She is the most non-judgemental person I have ever met. She is accepting of everyone without being naive. She is the one that is always ready to have fun. I know without a doubt that if I ever needed her she would be right beside me in a flash.

A long time ago, just after I had separated, my house was broken into while I was at work. When the kids arrived home they found the house had been tossed and called me. I was scared to death and sent them over to the neighbors immediately. I called the police, got home and got stuff back together. I don't even remember calling her, but Cindy was there. She ended up staying the night because we were all so scared. That night she earned another nickname "Bull Dog". She pretends to be so tough.

We tease her and tell her that she is married to the only man who would have her. She is a very free spirit and her husband has this incredible knack of giving her so much space before reeling her back to reality. She has three amazing kids who have inherited alot of their Momma's spunk...good...bad...?

Then there is the baby of the family. She is six years younger that me. No one fought with Smelly much. Although I remember she was so little I used to put my leg over her and she couldn't get out. She basked in our blazed trails then she added a few of her own. She had my Dad wrapped around her little finger. DeeDee and I couldn't believe the stuff she got away with! She went to school to be a nurse. She was only here until my oldest son was 2. He was the absolute apple of her eye and it didn't take long for him to be madly in love with her. There was definately a special bond.

Smelly moved to the States for better opportunities in nursing where she met the most perfect man I shall ever have the honor of knowing. She gets so mad at me for that. When we bitch about our men I usually tell her to shut up and do what he wants. That's how perfect this guy is.

Anyway, about Smelly, she is a very positive person. She will always find the silver lining in any situation. She has come through some very brutal and horrifying events. She never seems to be jaded by them though. Smelly is the most generous person I know. She never skips a beat when we invade her house and turn her life upside down for a week or so. It was because of their generosity that I was able to have the trip of a lifetime when they lived in over seas. They have lived in a million different cities and even a few different countries (then over seas, now South America!). They always consider these to be precious pages in their storybook life. They have three beautiful kids. Even though Smelly couldn't be by my side if I needed her (but you know what, she probably would be anyway), I always know she will be just a phone call, email, blog away.

There is nothing on this earth that is more important than family. Friends come really, really close but family is an unconditional love. I hope all of mine know that I will always be there for them until my last breath.

Briv bray little soldiers, briv bray.

(cheers Smelly, you made me cry with your beautiful Christmas card!!!!!)

Something for Nothing

I'm not sure when I became so cynical, perhaps it is an age acquired trait.

I happen to live very close to Caledonia. We often travel up #6 to see how the protest is progressing. Actually progress has nothing to do with it. I see their flags boldly announcing their squat. I see their signs to sell cigarettes cheap. We have laws against advertising for cigarettes, don't we? I see the repaired road my taxes paid for when they set tires on fire in the middle of the street. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get away with doing the same thing! I see their nice new cars that cost them thousands of dollars less than they would cost me.

I certainly do not consider myself racist. I am always willing to listen to both sides of a story. Frequently I feel sorry for the underdog. As far as the Native population goes, I am sure that hundreds of years ago they were taken advantage of. I don't disagree that there were probably alot of bad things that went on and a lot of these people suffered. The problem now is, how long do we have to pay for this crap? I am paying out of MY pocket for some person to sit on their ass all day long. I didn't do anything to hurt them IN FACT no one did anything to hurt them. I guess my great, great, great Grandfather (I don't know anyone that far back) took land from their great, great, great Grandfather (bet they don't know anyone that far back either!!) and I have to pay for it today?!?!?!?

The native population that has taken over Douglas Estates have trashed the once up and coming beautiful development. The houses that had been built have been burned. They have brought in some sad little shanty that they have put at the entrance to the 'Estates'. These people are squaters on our land, maybe 'their' land, who knows.

What I am sick and tired of is their bold defiance. They do not consider themselves Canadian! Where do you think they would take their children if they got sick? Who's roads do they drive on when they go to Tim Horton's? Who pays for them to sit on their butt all day denouncing my Country!

I have no idea what wealth my Great Great Great Grandparents had. I have worked hard my life to own the few precious things I own. I pay my taxes. Sometimes I grumble about paying them but deep down I love my Country and love the ammenities it provides me. This is the way my parents and their parents also lived. That much I do know.

I am well aware that there are Native Indians who have pride in themselves and have made a living for themselves. They have not settled for handouts from others. I am speaking about the ones who live on the 'reserve' and demand something for nothing. For the most part the houses are decrepid and very poorly kept. For the most part, these people drink too much and are poor representatives of their rich culture. They demand that we honour treaties that the brilliant minds of our time cannot unravel. They demand that we pay their way because their great, great, great grandparents were hard done by.

I've had enough of this crap. These people are no more entitled to handouts than I am. Maybe if they got off their butts and took care of themselves they would have a better outlook on life and less time to cry over something that happened way before any of us can remember.

Our government keeps asking us to be patient. For 10 months I have been patiently paying with each hard earned dollar I make.